Is Your Child a Master of Escape When It's Time to Say Goodbye?

You show up all ready to pick up your child from a playdate, and suddenly they dart off, laughter filling the air, as if the house has turned into a hide-and-seek haven. Talk about an awkward situation!

But fear not, parents, because I've got some tricks up my sleeve to help you navigate these challenges like a pro. Get ready to become a master of the graceful exit with these five steps.

Step One: The Power of Preemptive Practice

Wait, did I just say practice leaving even before you arrive? You bet! The secret lies in preparation. The more you can familiarize your child with the process of leaving a playdate, the smoother the transition will be. Kids, just like adults, appreciate having a sense of control and knowing what to expect. So, let's give them that!

Here's how you can incorporate some pre-playdate practice:

A few hours before the playdate excitement begins, you can say something like this:

"Hey, guess what? Today, after lunch, we're heading to Sam's house for a fun playdate! But you know what? I've noticed that sometimes kids aren't sure how to say goodbye when it's time to leave. They get caught up in the fun and feel a bit unsure about ending the playdate. But don't worry, we've got a plan to make it easier for you."

"When we're almost done playing at Sam's, I'll send a quick text to Sam's mom or dad to let them know we're getting ready to leave. That way, you'll have a few extra minutes to decide on the last game or activity you'd like to enjoy before we go."

"When it's time to leave, you can choose whether you want to put on your shoes and coat or surprise me by jumping into my arms, coatless and shoeless! It's up to you! I can't wait to see what you decide."

"And don't forget, before we head out, we'll make sure to say a big thank you to Sam and the babysitter for having you over. You can either say it yourself or let me say it for you. We want to make sure our appreciation is expressed."

(Remember, modeling gratitude is more impactful than forcing it. As your child grows, they'll learn to express their gratitude independently.)

Step Two: Provide Advanced Warning

Remember that text you mentioned earlier? It's time to put it into action!

Consider sending a message like this to the playdate host:

"Hey there, it's [Your Name], Charlie's mom. I wanted to thank you for hosting Charlie today. I wanted to give you a heads-up that sometimes goodbyes can be a little challenging for Charlie. So, if you could let him know that I'm on my way when the playdate is almost over, it would be really helpful. When I arrive, I'll make sure we have a smooth exit to avoid any unnecessary struggles. I hope you had as much fun as we did, and we'd love to have Sam come over to our place for a playdate soon! Thanks again!"

Sending a message like this in advance helps ensure everyone is on the same page and minimizes the chances of miscommunication.

Step Three: Timeliness is Key

Be true to your word and arrive on time to pick up your child. It's crucial!

When you arrive, greet your child warmly and ask them how they'd like to head to the car. Give them the option to say their own goodbyes and express gratitude or let you handle it on their behalf. Flexibility is key here.

Once the farewells are done, stick to the plan and make a swift exit. Avoid lingering or starting new conversations. Stay focused.

But what if your child doesn't stick to the plan? Don't panic! It's perfectly normal for children to test boundaries. It doesn't mean you've done something wrong or that there's anything wrong with your child. It just means more practice is needed.

Take a deep breath, remain calm, and do what you need to do. If your child tries to hide or escape, calmly ask the other parent if you can go inside to collect your child. Assure your little one that leaving can be tough but emphasize that you're there to support them.

Gently say, "It's time to leave now. I understand it's hard, but I won't let you run away."

Step Four: Reflect and Connect

Later in the evening, take a moment to discuss the playdate experience with your child.

Try something like this:

"Today, it was a little challenging to leave Sam's house. I'm curious, what was going on for you?"

Give them some space to think and reflect. It's not about teaching; it's about validating their experience and showing that you're open to discussing difficult moments.

Remember, the running away is just a phase, and practice makes perfect. Let them know, "You're still learning how to leave playdates, and I'm here to help you. Maybe we can practice tomorrow with your matchbox cars."

And remember, don't hesitate to share your experiences and emotions with a friend or partner. Parenting can be tough and emotionally draining. You deserve to have your own experiences validated too.